I have no idea what I’m doing

I still attend studio art classes, I’m still learning, and I still, most of the times, have no idea what I’m doing. My journey in clay started in a dark cluttered basement at an after school art class my mom enrolled me and my sisters in. For the most part, we painted and drew. Every few months, the teacher would bring out some clay. Although I don’t remember creating any huge masterpieces, it always felt special. I was much more successful at drawing and painting, so clay took a back seat, for a long time. I eventually went to college for Interior Design. One summer, after a change of majors, I took a pottery class to make up some art credits. Spending 6 hours everyday on the wheel for over a month, was a game changer for me. I found control, discipline and an addiction to clay I didn’t know I had. I needed to touch, feel and mold clay. After that summer, clay would always be a part of my journey. I just couldn’t see how, though. For decades, clay went back onto the bench. Clay sat there, patiently. Here and there I’d pick up a lump and shape it into something. I was fortunate in my teaching career, to have access to clay, kilns, glazes and students to share the process with, but I never found the time that clay demanded, deserved. Throughout the years, I found several clay studios to take more courses. Long Island City… too far, no parking, Port Washington…far, something always came up, Island Park… really close, but now I have a kid, so we know how that goes. Through the defunct of one of those studios, I acquired a pottery wheel. That was over 22 years ago. I still have and use that pottery wheel today. Now, approximately 18 years later, I have found the time to dedicate to clay. It’s demanding, disciplining, meditative and very rewarding. I still don’t know what I want to do, nor do I have a plan. I do know I want to continue to grow as a clay artist. My present goal is to produce and sell enough pottery so I can continue creating and growing with clay. So that’s what I’m doing. See? I guess I do have an idea.